his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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