How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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