This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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