An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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