time to smoke my breakfast
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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