This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
