you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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