Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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