I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
