There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
