i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
