I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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