And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
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This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
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