I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
