I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
