the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
