awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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