I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
