If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
