But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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