my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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