I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
