i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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