Cold hands, warm shart.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
