Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
