What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
