Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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  (407): I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes http://tfl.nu/atny
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

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  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (4961) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.

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  (843): Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought. http://tfl.nu/bahq
  Replies (14) Good night (632) Bad night (4353) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.

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  (607): Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college. http://tfl.nu/qsq7
  Replies (28) Good night (4219) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex

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  (817): So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex http://tfl.nu/vz15
  Replies (67) Good night (940) Bad night (5211) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

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  (585): there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer http://tfl.nu/kyu0
  Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (3864) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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  (804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r
  Replies (1) Good night (2764) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!

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  (862): I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands! http://tfl.nu/blis
  Replies (33) Good night (6164) Bad night (1096)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

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  (218): you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen" http://tfl.nu/038r
  Replies (8) Good night (2602) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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  (269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class http://tfl.nu/65qj
  Replies (7) Good night (2395) Bad night (476)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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  (647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6
  Replies (6) Good night (411) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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  (780): I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard http://tfl.nu/fp3r
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  What does puking wasabi feel like?

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  Like snorting cocaine backwards.

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  (602): What does puking wasabi feel like? (1-602): Like snorting cocaine backwards. http://tfl.nu/l21m
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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  (801): You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fwv4
  Replies (5) Good night (263) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"

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  (310): I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine" http://tfl.nu/hod3
  Replies (6) Good night (651) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

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