i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake