so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there