when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
