I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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