i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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