White coat. Heels.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize