he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize