Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
