There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
