i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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