My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
