I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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