Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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