We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
