Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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