So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
