The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
