The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
