you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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