do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?