a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
