I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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