i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
