New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
