How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
