and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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