Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
should my penis look like a turkey
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
