And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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