I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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