Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
